cny

so what it is cny
not happy at all
nothing much the same like it used to be
just have to bare with the holidays and stuff
sleep - eat - shit
that is what i have been doing for the past few days
but i am ok with it
soon the holidays is over i have to go back to the same old shit

1/26

well haven't post anything here for a long long time
a bit busy at work
a bit heart broken
a bit tired
i am getting fatter and i don't know what else to say
just really tired can't hardly wait for a long holiday

pain

there is a voice inside of everyone

screaming and yelling for help

when you scream so loud no one can even hear you screaming

no one is there to save you

the rush of pain is so sudden that your start to shriver

and theer is nothing that you can do to stop the pain

you try to scream but no one hears you

you try to show it but there is no one there to notice

you try to look for help but there is nothing others can do for you

you try to hurt yourself but the pysical pain does not cure

rhere is a lot of things going through your mind

there is not even one you can solve

all of it comes at once

the rush of pain taste so good

that you don't get it so often

when the rush is gone

you'll feel so glad that it is gone

Nov

it is a month of ups and downs
hate it love it
but it is ending soon
am i happy about it
no i am not
why can't there be a month in my life where it is full of ups and no downs
hate to gain and lose
hate to be judge
hate to be love
hate to be hated

fool

i have done something really bad
i told someone something that have been on my mind since the beginning
i knew what i was doing was wrong
but i am still doing it

it is ok now but i am not actually ok with it
i don't think it is right and it is not fair to do so to someone
i felt sorry and guilty
i wish i can undo the things i have done

why do i have to love freedom more than love

it hurts to see the people i have hurt
i have just add another sin to my list